Poems

Beautiful poems written by Julie Martinez, I am a big fan. Go check her out at her instagram; @juliemartinez

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So anyway, basically I just wanted to tell you guys that I'll try to write something soon but the next weeks are filled with exams and more exams. I will try though, I promise.

Now, for my next post, I've decided not to write anything myself, instead It's going to be all of you who help me write my post. I know that those who read me are worth something, maybe because you read my blog, faithfully and with patience, for which I am very grateful.

You see, the thing is, that a friend of mine, maybe two or three, have told me that they really liked my post Her and have asked me to do a second part. Others have asked me to continue writing about other posts of mine, or about certain subjects which interest them. I am asking you now to tell me what you want, in the comment section below or on my twitter or ask (the links to them are on the left), your opinions or what you would like me to write about.

And a big shout-out to those who read my blog, reading so many stupid things. 

Loads and loads of kisses to everyone out there, and remember, there will be a new post when some ideas roll in from you guys 

Luv ya

Sophie

My heart started beating fast.

The long forgotten sparkle came back to my eyes.

It had been too long. Too long.

Since I last saw her.

I saw her trudging up the hill towards me. My god, how I had missed her. Her long hair, black as coal, all tied up in a tight braid. Sapphire eyes staring at me from the start of the hill. Small, cute nose, slightly pointed at the end. And that sweet smile, that sweet smile I used to see everyday, till everything happened. Till she was torn from my life. Ten years ago. Ten years since I last saw her, when she disappeared.

She finally made it to where I was sitting. She took hold of the wicker chair in front of me and sat down. We looked at each other for a few minutes in silence, each remembering.After a few moments, I finally decided I had to say something. I just didn't know what to say. After all we'd been through, and we couldn't say anything to each other.

"You're remembering aren't you?", she asked me.

"Can I not, Sophie?", I answered back.

"That's all we have left, huh?", she looked at me sadly.

"It's funny, after everything that's happened, ten years Soph, ten years. I went through a really tough time after losing you, after losing everything i had. You were my everything.", I couldn't help telling her.

"Oh, come on. You know it didn't have anything to do with me. I was so in love with you, just as you were with me. How the hell do you think I felt? Tell me please", she said.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking", I answered.

She looked at me in the eyes and I held her gaze. She was so pretty, she had always been. And I knew I still loved her, just as she loved me. We still loved each other just as much as we used to, but we both knew neither could go through what we'd been through again.

I recall that all the problems started with her father. He wouldn't even let me in their house, so bad was I to him. Sometimes  he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence, and if we casually met in the middle of any known street, he would pass by, completely ignoring me.

Then her mother. She wasn't like her husband, but as bad in other ways. She looked at me badly whenever I entered Sophie's house, and rare was the day when no criticizing comment came from her mouth towards me. And of course, I was her main topic when she was gossiping with her posh friends, all false with everyone.

Sometimes I never even got to see Sophie before hurrying home to be hugged by my own mother because I hadn't been able to stand anything else.

I had been going out with Sophie for three years, and we had been thinking about getting married. Of course, that caused such an uproar that her parents prohibited her to see me during three or four months. I guess that was the last straw.

I couldn't take it any more.

I couldn't live like that.

Even my own father didn't like me sometimes. Coming home when he was there was like going to Sophie's house. It was a horrible experience and quite a few times I even thought of letting go of my life.

I was grateful that I hadn't done anything and that Sophie was sitting in front of me. She had suffered too. Like me.

We weren't accepted and that had affected us.

"I've missed you Soph", I told her. She looked up at me after a few minutes, fiddling with her hands.

"It will never be the same, you know that right?", she asked me.

"I know. You love me and I love you, you always have, and so have I. But we both know that it's over definitely. I just can't take it anymore. Not your family.", I said as I stood up and started to leave, after leaving some money on the table. As I started to walk away I heard a voice behind me;

"Mary," she said as I turned around, "People like us will never be accepted by them, I love you, take care."

I nodded, flipped my long hair and started walking away.


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I wanted to write a bit about social discrimination.

Thank you so much for all the support you've been giving me, especially on my last post. I could tell you sincerely liked it.

Remember, if you want me to tell you about a new post or something, tell me on twitter. @estherturbi. Or on my ask, http://ask.fm/turbs
I LOVE YOU ALL

Esther Alós © All rights reserved 

Ive been through a lot, but im still smiling

We all go through that moment in time that makes us rethink everything we've been through. All those past memories, all those past times. Bad memories, bad times.

I would tell you to stop and think and remember every bad moment you have been through, every tear wasted and every second spent thinking about what you have done wrongly, or what you could have done to make the circumstances change or never happen. I would tell you to stop and remember but, sadly and unfortunately. i don't need to. You can remember unfortunate events. Our brain is made to remember certain things like that, remembering at the same time good things. But we can't make memories go away, we cant make memories disappear, we can't let go of those bad times, because they're in our heads, stuck with glue, glue that only stops sticking with time as it passes by.

And through your life, these moments are the ones that are going to come back and back again.

Stuck inside your brain.

Glued.

Frozen in time.

Frozen in memories.

Frozen in you.

But not in me. No

Not in me.

I still remember those tough times. I still remember how i felt. How people made me feel, with their comments, with their harsh words, digging into my brain, like a dagger into my flesh, creating a new wound that takes weeks to start to heal. Or reopening wounds that were almost healed, providing endless pain.

 How I made people feel, accidental comments that hurt them, maybe some not so innocent, but done on purpose; their eyes filled with tears, how I made them feel I'll never forget. Sad eyes, filled with mist. No one should hurt anyone, because what you see makes you feel worse. I know you know what i'm talking about.

 When someone told me my grandfather had died. Who doesn't feel that at that moment the world crumbles and shatters in front of their eyes? The pain in your chest when you realize you are never going to speak to them again. When they will no longer hold you in their arms or give you cuddles. No more smelling their perfume, no more watching them laugh with your stupid jokes, no more them.

When you were with your friends and suddenly you were the last one standing alone when all the partners were picked, the last one chosen to be in their team, the only one sitting on the bleachers because everyone else had been faster. When the threw paper balls at you with the teacher punishing you while you ended up being laughed by them.

When you went in for a job but someone was prettier than you, and got chosen before you. How after a long four-hour wait on hard, uncomfortable chairs ended with them telling you that the girl who had come in just a bit earlier had gotten the job. The feeling of being an outcast just for your looks that didn't help building up yourself as a whole, unique person.

When your last girlfriend/boyfriend left you for someone else. Those feelings of shame, regret and sadness all mixed together with despair. The way you felt as though you had been used, that feeling that you'll never forget. And when he or she slowly walked away, while you were looking at their hunched up back, as tears welled up in your eyes.

I won't forget that. Basically because i just can't forget that. All those memories and bad moments. They are something that won't leave you're mind. And probably, they never will.

But I won't let them control me. I won't be bossed around by my past, no matter how it left me, no matter how hard it was, no matter how I suffered or the endless nights crying into my pillow. My life never lived on the past, and it never will. Because, what's past is past. If it comes back to haunt me, I'll just push it away, out of my sight. Into the darkest corners of my mind, the furthest i can push it away. It's not worth my time anymore, much less my tears.

I've been through a lot, but i'm still smiling. Because screw those memories, they're only memories. That's what they are.


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i'm really grateful to those who commented after my last post. 

I would like to know if my earlier post called Her was liked in general or not, because if so, i could continue it a bit, or do another short story.

I repeat again guys, there's no problem if you wan't to write a comment. Quite the opposite, i really like reading your comments, they make me happy. Seriously hahaha. If you're shy there's an anonymous option.

And if you want me to tell you when there's a new post tell me through my twitter or ask, even through comments if you'd like. My ask and twitter are on the left. If you go there, don't get scared that it's mostly in Spanish, I'm from Spain, it's not that unusual. But don't worry, if you write in English  i'll answer in English.

Lots of kisses and thank you again for reading. Luv y'all

Esther Alós © All rights reserved 

What if all we possessed in this life suddenly disappeared?

What if all we possessed in this life suddenly disappeared?

That recorder filled with dust from when you were just a kid.

The stuffed animal that made your dreams perfect and kept you warm during the night.

Those old forgotten CD's of artists who have changed a lot.

That good-luck charm pen you used in your university exams.

The books your mother read to you when you barely knew how to read.

That beautiful painting of yours made in pre-school.

Your old photographs.

Your clothes.

That blouse your grandmother gave you for your birthday party. That special dress you wore to that wedding. The T-shirt given by your sister when she was little, filled with paint on her hands.

Your family.

Your grandmother, your grandfather. Sister, brother. Mother. father. Cousins. Even that family who is not so close, or maybe not close at all... Its still our blood.

Your love.

Can you imagine the world without love? All filled with chaos and hate. That special person who is always on the back of your mind, suddenly disappears.

Your friends.

Those that have been there for you almost everyday and for whom you would die.

What if all we possessed in this life suddenly disappeared?

Maybe life isn't all about the big things in life like food, clothes and water, but its more about all those little details that define us. All those little things that our life is made up of.

Esther Alós © All rights reserved 

Her

The breeze made her shiver. She looked at her watch on her delicate wrist and narrowed her eyes. He was late again. The wind picked up again, making her hair fly through the air in all directions. She shivered again, wrapped her coat around her more tightly and huddled close to the wall.

There was clearly a storm brewing. Clouds hid the sun, making it all darker, while mist was beginning to pick up, taking the world with it into a world of grey and fogginess. You could smell it anywhere you went, the smell of rain and water. It was going to be a very big storm.

She couldn't stay there. She knew enough of that place to know that a girl like her wasn't safe for more than ten minutes. A blonde, blue-eyed girl attracted attention everywhere she went, but here she didn't want any one to know where she was, so she covered up her golden curls with a wool hat and put on sunglasses. He had given her those sunglasses so she wouldn't be recognized by anyone.

Now she was really cold and he wasn't arriving. The wind was really blowing up now and she was shivering. It was dark and and shadows went and came, while the lonesome light started to splutter and dim till it finally grew dark. The hour was coming and she knew it. She should have been gone for a long time and still he wasn't there. Sounds were beginning to wake up and you could hear how people began to move around.

It didn't help that the dark alleyway was a very used place for business and deals. That was why she was here, though secretly she just wanted to see him. That was why she was holding on so long, to see his perfect smile coming from his small but defined mouth, his grey eyes, grey as the clouds that had been above her only a few hours ago but firm and harsh, his soft hands that once or twice she had touched accidentally and his well shaped body formed from his many out-jobs and hours at the gym. But she could never tell him that. She could never tell him how desperately in love she was with him because he was perfect, too perfect. And way too superior to her. And he had a girlfriend. She was beautiful, a model, her body shaped to the end with perfect curves, her face defined with high cheekbones and green practically transparent eyes. It wasn't strange that he was going out with her.
She blinked, coming back to reality. More people were wandering around, some of them looking at her strangely. She quickly looked down and tried to remain inconspicuous. Why wasn't he here already? It was going to start raining soon, a few drops were already falling on her light-colored fringe.
An old man hobbled over to her, limping strongly while leaning on an old faded wooden stick. He was getting closer now and she tried to back away but he kept stumbling over to her. She was worried now, her face turned into a frown as she tried to hide that she was afraid. He looked up at her and she saw an old face, filled with wrinkles showing all the years that had passed through him, his eyes were filled with sorrow displaying the many tragedies and disgraces they had seen, carrying the burden with them. So much sorrow were they filled with that it was like they were continually crying, crying in pain. They were eyes that captivated her, that made her yearn for more. They were powerful eyes.

From beneath his coat he pulled his old wrinkly hand, smoothed by the many years of manual work, crushing an old faded piece of paper, with strange writing and held out his hand. He opened his mouth as so to speak, but no words came out, as he was suddenly hit on the head. She looked up with fright as he collapsed on the floor. A masked man had just hit him. She thought quickly and knew she had too escape. And as soon as possible. She knelt down as quickly as she could and grabbed the piece of paper, turned around and fled.

As she began running, she knew she was being followed by the man, as footsteps pattered quickly after her. She couldn't keep running, she knew he was faster than her and probably had much more stamina than her. It was only a matter of time until he caught up with her. She looked around and saw a fire escape on the side of an old building. Desperate as she was, she saw she had no other choice and hurried up, with no way to know if she was going into a worse situation.


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I decided to try and write a little story to see if it turned out okay. But i need your opinion guys. Write a comment below and tell me your opinion. Remember i don't bite, okay? And dont worry, if you are shy or anything, there is an option for anonymous comments. Please comment, it does cheer me up a lot and it makes me smile. Thank you :)
If you would also like to follow me on twitter here you go : @estherturbi and i also have ask ask.fm/turbs. 

Kisses

Esther Alós © All rights reserved