Can she be normal?

Breathing in. Breathing out. Slow breaths, right on time. No agitation, no hurry.

If she was the purest perfection you could find when she was awake, I couldn't even begin to explain what she was when she was sleeping.

Her shoulder-long hair, so soft and straight, fell across her face, only barely shading her face from the morning rays of sun streaming in softly through the open window, along with the warm breeze, giving her a look so  angelic it seemed as though a goddess was laying in front of me.

She stirred a bit in her sleep and mumbled incoherent words in a language made for dreamers fleeing the world and searching new horizons. I stayed still, for I didn't want this moment to end. There weren't many, seeing as she usually woke before I did, sneaking out of bed to make me some breakfast.

I slipped out of bed, already thinking about everything I could make for her. At least in my imagination. In reality, I was the world's worst cook. Even the kid next door cooked better than I did.

Pancakes. Yes, that should be fairly easy.

Twenty minutes later and I wasn't even close to making half a pancake. The kitchen was an absolute mess; flour everywhere, eggs on the floor and the sink filled up with pans and plates and dirty dishes. I looked around and started to panic. I didn't have much time left before she woke up and saw my surprise, which I definitely didn't want her to see. It had to be perfect, at least as close to perfect I could manage.  If I wanted to make it on time I'd have to be fast. 

I quickly picked everything up and tidied it up a bit. Decent enough.

A few more tries later and I had two or three pancakes more or less done. Maybe not so perfect looking but some whipped cream and strawberry syrup soon fixed that up. I put it on the tray with some orange juice (obviously not squeezed out by me) and added the final touch of a few strawberries here and there. I have to admit, it hadn't turned out as bad as I thought it would. Thank god.

I shifted the door open with my left foot while holding on to the tray. I slowly made my way up the stairs and to our room. At least she was still asleep and my surprise still safe. I left the tray on the side table and wen to my wardrobe,  I pulled open a drawer and took out that red rose that was so alive with vivid colors it seemed as though a it had a million little crystals,  all reflecting the light coming in from the window. Id found the roses blooming in a little meadow a few days ago while taking a walk around my house and I thought of her looking at all the roses around me. I couldn't resist cutting one out for her.

She had shifted positions while I'd been gone. Now she was curled up in a little ball, her hand almost in a fist placed really close to her heart, as though tightly holding on to something loved dearly. She cried out and started thrashing about, almost pulling the lamp of the table. 

I hurried over to her;

"Aly! Aly!", I shook her a bit. She still wasn't waking up and was moving a lot.

"ALYSON!", I finally shouted.

She suddenly sat up straight and opened her eyes. Tears started streaming out of her eyes. You could barely see those beautiful coal black eyes I loved so much.

"Oh, Max!", she gripped my arm, "I was dreaming that you were in my arms. We were by the beach, holding on to one another, with the sound of the waves and a warm breeze. It was so real! And then suddenly you stood up and started walking away. And I was shouting out your name but you weren't answering, you kept walking, further and further away. And it was like I couldn't move, like I was stuck to the ground and all I could do was watch you walk away and I wouldn't take it any longer and I have never felt so useless and it reminded me so much of that day and I couldn't do anything all over  again and...and...and...oh, Max!!", she said all in a rush.

"Shh, honey, it's okay. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. Like I would ever leave you. I couldn't stand a day without you. Calm down", I told her as I wiped her tears with my thumb.A smile appeared through the tears and she hugged me.

"I love you Maxy, I really do."

"I know sweetie, I know. I love you too. Do you know what day it is today?" I asked her.

"No...", she had a look of concern on her face, "Have I forgotten an important day? "

"Yes, you have", I replied as I bent my head, looking sad.

"Oh no!! Oh, I'm sorry, i'm really really sorry. Please forgive me. Oh, Max! Sorry! What day is it today?"

"Today...well, actually today is...well, a special day... Today is... Today is yet another day of happiness being with you and loving you!" I answered while giving her a smile and a little laugh.

"Maximilian Jonathan Junior!! I am so killing you!! I swear to God! I am going to kill you!" She jumped of the bed and started chasing me around the room. "I was actually falling for it you *sshole! Come here!"

I was laughing so hard I couldn't keep running and fell to the floor with my stomach hurting from all the laughter. She soon caught up, jumped on me and started tickling me. Oh, my. This was absolute payback. I couldn't breathe now, I was so ticklish.

"Stop... Stop... Aly!....Please! ... I can't.... Breathe...Stop...Stop...", I begged.

"Oh, no, no. I'm not stopping until you say you're sorry for pulling such a mean prank on me, especially after that horrible nightmare."

"Okay...Okay...I'm... Sorry ... I... Won't.... Won't do.... It... Again.... Stop! Please!"

Aly released her grip on me and soon after stopped tickling me. I took advantage of the situation and, catching her off guard, switched our positions, leaving her laying beneath me. I put my face close to hers and felt her heavy breathing on my lips. She bit her lip and stared at mine. I started to get closer to her, closing the distance between us, but doing it slowly, just to make her suffer. She couldn't resist it and raised her hand behind my head and pushed me closer to her, closing any distance that was left. Our lips were locked and our eyes closed, enjoying the warm morning kiss, her tender lips slowly pressing on mine, while our tongues joined together creating a rhythmic dance.

We separated for take a breath and smiled. I stood up, not wanting to hurt her, and helped her up. When we were both up I took her hand and led her to the bed again. She smiled at me and sat down. I turned around, took the tray and placed it in front of her. Her look of surprise and love filled me with satisfaction, especially after she started tucking in.

"Thank you, honey. That was so sweet of you. Come eat with me, please", her eyes were filled with love.

I smiled at her and went over to my side of the bed, where I got in, huddled next to her and started eating.

After finishing breakfast, we got dressed and cleaned up a bit. I helped her get dressed and took the tray downstairs, seeing as she couldn't do it.

After a while, she came downstairs with me too and we went outside for a walk after putting our coats on.

It was a beautiful winter morning. The sun was shining and glittering on the snow, which was everywhere.

I looked at Aly again and fell in love with her all over again, just as every time I looked at her. People had always looked at her strangely but her little imperfection was what made her so perfect. So what if she was missing one arm. She was still human, she was still perfect. And no matter what anyone said, no matter how much she suffered or how many offensive comments came her way, no matter how society thought of her, of people like her, discriminating her as though she were something different, no matter people looked at her badly, I would still love her. I would love her to the end of time. Because she needed to be loved. To have someone love her and tell her she was normal. Tell her what she was, because she WAS normal. The same as anyone else. Just missing an arm. And missing the love and being accepted that disappeared with it.

She'd been through enough. And here I was, loving her like the first day, giving all that love everyone else should have been giving her too, standing by her like they should have. But they didn't. They left her. Society left her. Because of something so dumb. Because of an arm.

I held her hand, kissed her cheek and started walking with her. To a new future. To a new us. And hopefully, to a new world.

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First of all, I want to state that even though people might be missing some part of their bodies, it doesn't mean that they are different and by no means should they be treated like they are something strange, apart, and not welcome them like you would welcome anyone else. This also goes for those who have a sickness that makes them unable to do something or that changes their appearances.They can perfectly live a normal life.

I decided to post again because nobody commented on my last post and I wanted to share this with you. Throughout these past days I've been logging in, and watching how there weren't any new comments made me sad and upset, as if my blog was just another thing in this world of chaos, which it is. But at least for some people, it might be worth something . And I don't feel like it's worth something. Probably, because it isn't worth anything. But for me  it's my way of expression, of letting go of the thoughts roaming my mind. 

And I love the way people read my bog and enjoy it. I love you, all of you. And boy am I grateful to all you readers who read all my nonsense and I love receiving your comments, which is why I ask you again; if you want me to write about any subject in particular or continue any of the previous posts please comment below, pretty please with a cherry on the top, comment, comment, comment, let your imagination flow and tell me everything that's on your mind, but please don't just read and move on. I would really love to hear your opinion.

Well, that's pretty much all I needed to say, just let me know if it's worth.

As always, lots of love and kisses.

Esther Alós © All rights reserved